Just got back from putting one of my buddies to sleep

So I've had a bad few weeks.

Once Bailey died, people kept sending me links and info for cats that need homes. I was pretty down about it all, not really looking at them, having a hard time even thinking about everything.

After about a month, someone sent me a link to a local tripod cat, and I opened it.

I decided to at least go look at the little dude. Which of course resulted in me adopting him, and another cat. Looking back on it, the adoption place seemed a little pushy towards taking two cats home, but I wasn't adverse to it, so I considered a few cats and ultimately chose one that seemed to have a harder time being adopted.

So about a week after I brought them home, they seemed pretty OK. The tripod was a little slow, less friendly, and still recovering from his surgery to remove his leg.

The other cat was/is a damn 4 legged tornado. She's constantly tearing the place up, farting, eating, pooping, day and night. A bit on the other side of extremely active..

Anyway, after that first week was up, I noticed Badger (the 3 legged cat) starting to go to the litter box a lot. I didn't think much of it at the time as I thought maybe that was just how he was. A few days later, I caught him urinating on the rug, and some blood in the urine.

Now starts the veterinarian rodeo..

I call up the adoption place in a panic. They have a 2 week policy on healthcare, and should help me get him straightened out. They act a under-surprised but nonetheless tell me to come in the next day. When I get there, I'm quickly told that "this stuff happens all the time, it's no big deal". I reiterate about the blood and they tell me that it's nothing. Badger gets a bunch of meds and we go home.

He seemed fine after that and another few days passed, but I see blood drops on the floor.. Of course, badger is peeing blood again, only now it's much, much worse. I call the adoption place back and they arrange a visit with another vet. This one does some xrays, urinalysis and bloodwork, and essentially tells me that it's the food I'm feeding him that's causing this and I need to get "wet food". They also tell me to call them back after 24 hours for the results of the blood test and urinalysis.

(I go get wet food. He spends the next few nights vomiting it up wildly. I guess it's not going to work.)

So I call the vet back the next day.

But now, the attitudes are much different. I'm told that they will not give me the results as I'm not the "payer" of the bill. I would have to call the adoption place to get the results. I call them and get a voicemail box. I leave a message.

Two days later, still no return call. I call back and now it's "oh don't call us, we'll call you" type of response.

The blood seems to clear up on it's own again.

Another week passes and I'd never gotten a call back, nor answers to my emails. Clearly my 2 week window was up, and kitty is all my responsibility now.

I remember a few things they said about his surgery and recovery..  How he had such a hard time, he was a hard case, problems, etc.  Now I'm starting to think they knew that something bigger would possibly come up the in the future.. Which is why I never got any of his vital records, bloodwork results, nothing..  They just stopped communicating with me, and I can't help but to wonder if they knew there was something bad on the horizon..

Anyway, a few days into week 3 and Badger heads to the litter a few times in a row.. I go check for blood, and there is nothing to be found. Nothing. No blood, no urine, nothing. He's back and forth for a few hours, and it's clear that he's all blocked up.

This is common for fixed male cats, but it's s life-threatening problem. It's called FLUTD (feline lower urinary tract disease), and it's caused by FIC.. AKA: Feline Idiopathic Cystitis. In non-doctor terms it means an inflammation of the bladder and urethra with no known cause. They think it's stress related, but for every cat, it's completely different, and nigh impossible to figure out.

So Badger gets loaded up to go to the emergency veterinarian. He's really stopped up good, and he's going to stay the night in the emergency room and be put under, have a catheter inserted, drained, cleaned, etc. He's supposed to stay in the hospital for 3 nights..

For a grand total of 2K$

At least the emergency place and I made a deal that I'd pick him up in the morning and take him to my vet each day for day observation for considerably cheaper total cost, but he would have to return each night since my vet doesn't have an overnight observation for sick animals.

Total cost, 1200$

So, after 4 nights of back and forth, my vet determines that Badger is good enough to go home, but needs constant supervision, medications multiple times a day, and overall a lot of rest and relaxation.

The relaxation lasted about 30 seconds as Harley (the other cat) immediately crashes into something..

Anyway, I've spent the last week nursing Badger, following him around to watch him eat, drink and piss, and generally morphing into an anxiety ridden meat sack that's not my typical modus operandi. In fact, I don't do well with this kind of stress at all.

You can fill my day with work stress until most people quit, but I'm quite OK with that. However, when my fuzzy little retards are sick or in pain, I'm a goddamn wreck at the smallest amount of them being sick.

The piss was still bloody over the weekend, but seems to have cleared up this morning, but his personality is gone and his overall appetite has diminished to nothing, as has his thirst.

He's not the same cat at all.

He's grown scared of me since I've been giving him various meds a number of times a day, and he's clearly still not feeling good as he acts listless and uncomfortable.

I took him to the vet again this morning, but his bladder is OK, his pee is OK, temperature, respiration.. All OK. Last blood test and urinalysis showed clean with no infection or anything out of the ordinary. The vet couldn't seem to determine that any physical area on his body was in physical pain. On the outside, he seems normal.

Yet he's sullen, scared, uncomfortable and won't eat or drink, and seems about as stressed and anxious as I am at this point.

So, we're back at square one, about 1600$ later after the secondary visits, special foods (that he won't eat) and all the medications that he's been prescribed, and we still have no idea what caused this problem, or if it's truly gone.

The doc sent us home with an anti-inflammatory shot and hydration, and a prescription for different special foods. I dropped Badger off at home, and came into work late again. At lunch I ran to the store, got the special foods, ran home, fed him some of the wet foods (which he ate some) and ran back to work. I'm working late now to make up the hours.

So now, I'm going to stress that he's still not *right* and that something is still lingering inside him. I also get to worry that he's going to repeat the blockage with the added worry that I have to get him to the vet soon enough after the blockage that he won't die from kidney failure.

In the course of all this I made the painful realization that I was not emotionally ready for another cat so soon (let alone a sick one) and I think I was trying to fill the void left by Bailey. This whole thing is affecting me more than pretty much anything bad that's happened to me in the last 20 years, including deaths of friends and family, and I can only surmise that Badger being sick is just adding to the pain of watching Bailey die of cancer and being able to do nothing at all to help.

I will say this, even though I wasn't ready, Badger is mine now and I love the little shit. I'm sticking with him until he gets better or dies trying.



TL;DR:

Adopted cat before I was emotionally ready after going through my last cat dying of cancer. The new cat has been very sick every week since I brought him home and I feel that the adoption place might have known that he would be sickly. It's wrecking me emotionally and physically and the 4 vets he's seen don't seem to have a clue what's going on as the test results show normal across the board, and I feel completely guilty and impotent about it and I'm afraid he's going to suffer and die.