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Post by tonycamphd on Jan 12, 2016 11:26:16 GMT -6
I can't believe we don't have one of these? or did I miss it? anyway, i'll go first with a couple....
"Dude! you play like Bonham!".....(under breath)... "jason bonham"8) "Dude! you write like Lennon!"......(under breath)..."sean lennon"8), though not nearly as funny as when he was a kid 8)
How do you get a guitar player to turn down? put sheet music in front of him.... 8)
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Post by chasmanian on Jan 12, 2016 11:34:23 GMT -6
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Post by tonycamphd on Jan 12, 2016 19:38:05 GMT -6
hmmm, not much interest apparently, ok, how about a bump with this...
who do drummers like to hang out with more than anyone else? Musicians 8)
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Post by ragan on Jan 12, 2016 19:46:24 GMT -6
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
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Post by ragan on Jan 12, 2016 19:47:02 GMT -6
How many lead singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one. He just holds it in place and the world revolves around him.
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Post by ragan on Jan 12, 2016 19:48:22 GMT -6
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
About 4. 1 to screw it in and 3 to sing about how good the old one was.
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Post by ragan on Jan 12, 2016 19:49:01 GMT -6
How many folk musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
About 4. 1 to screw it in and 3 to complain that it's electrified.
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Post by ragan on Jan 12, 2016 19:49:31 GMT -6
How do you tell when a drummer's at your door?
The knocking speeds up.
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Post by ragan on Jan 12, 2016 19:51:26 GMT -6
And my all time favorite:
What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
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Post by warrenfirehouse on Jan 12, 2016 19:53:57 GMT -6
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Post by rowmat on Jan 12, 2016 19:58:43 GMT -6
Q. What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless!
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Post by chasmanian on Jan 12, 2016 20:34:46 GMT -6
one of the members of my band had a tragedy last weekend. she went to the Shopping Mall, and left the windows of her car rolled down, and her accordion sitting on the back seat. when she realized she had left the windows down, she rushed out to her car, and found 3 more accordions in her back seat.
ha cha cha.....
this line, was I believe said by one of the Four Nightingales, a vaudeville singing group. he was the one called Groucho.
outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
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Post by mobeach on Jan 12, 2016 21:24:39 GMT -6
How do you know when the drum riser is level?
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Post by rowmat on Jan 12, 2016 22:20:26 GMT -6
How do you know when the drum riser is level? When the dribble is running evenly out of both side of the drummer's mouth.
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Post by rocinante on Jan 13, 2016 9:41:33 GMT -6
What does a drummer smell like after a long night of sex?
Pepper spray
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Post by warrenfirehouse on Jan 13, 2016 10:02:25 GMT -6
What do you call a hot woman on a bass players arm? A tattoo. How do you get a guitar player off your porch? Pay for the pizza. Haha this is fun.
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Post by warrenfirehouse on Jan 13, 2016 10:09:33 GMT -6
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
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Post by Ward on Jan 13, 2016 12:01:47 GMT -6
What is a banjo for?
Kindling. For an accordion fire. -------------------------------- what's the definition of a 1/4 tone? Two violas playing in unison. -------------------------------- Why do bagpipers march around? To get away from the noise.
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Post by wiz on Jan 13, 2016 15:34:45 GMT -6
When we got to the gig on saturday night...
The Bass player, locked the keys in the car!!!!!!
We were so late on stage, it took us 90 minutes to get the drummer out
Ba Doom Tish!!!
cheers
Wiz
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Post by svart on Jan 13, 2016 15:44:46 GMT -6
What do you call a drummer dressed in a suit?
The defendant.
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Post by Guitar on Jan 13, 2016 17:09:12 GMT -6
LOL!
How do you know when a banjo is out of tune? When someone is playing it.
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Post by fishnmusician on Jan 16, 2016 0:07:37 GMT -6
"Here's one nobodys ever heard- A bass player walks past a bar" (Heard that from Stu Hamm the othet night, what a show!)
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Post by fishnmusician on Jan 16, 2016 0:10:38 GMT -6
Whats the difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has horns in the front and ass in the back.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2016 2:47:09 GMT -6
How many trumpeters do you need to change a light bulb?
Five. One holds the light bulb, and the other four sit in the corners and booze til the room is turning.
A drummer goes into the music store. "I want to buy this red trumpet and the white accordeon over there" The salesman says: "Ok, i sell you the extinguisher, but the heater stays here."
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2016 2:52:12 GMT -6
A man comes into a store. "I want to buy a Marshall AC30 and a Gobson Stratoblaster with a Fried Rose Tremolo." "You are a drummer, right?" "How do you know???" "This is a travel agency...."
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