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Post by johneppstein on Mar 14, 2021 17:56:40 GMT -6
I turn 40 this year. That really f*cked with me for a while. I know my older friends will laugh, but it’s just the first time for me personally that I actually took a moment to reflect and acknowledge that this life is, in fact, a one-way trip and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. Don't worry about it. Wait till you're 70, which it turns out hit me a lot harder than 60.
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Post by Jason on Mar 14, 2021 19:23:24 GMT -6
I turn 40 this year. That really f*cked with me for a while. I know my older friends will laugh, but it’s just the first time for me personally that I actually took a moment to reflect and acknowledge that this life is, in fact, a one-way trip and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. Don't worry about it. Wait till you're 70, which it turns out hit me a lot harder than 60. Thanks, John, I appreciate that very much. My father turns 74 this year. It secretly bothers him. Was only trying to express that for the first time, at 40, I get it, and it scares the shit out of me. So, nothing but respect for those who are nearly twice along in their journey as I and who are still taking it in stride...and who are still occasionally throwing up the middle finger when appropriate.
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ericn
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Balance Engineer
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Post by ericn on Mar 14, 2021 20:48:23 GMT -6
Don't worry about it. Wait till you're 70, which it turns out hit me a lot harder than 60. Thanks, John, I appreciate that very much. My father turns 74 this year. It secretly bothers him. Was only trying to express that for the first time, at 40, I get it, and it scares the shit out of me. So, nothing but respect for those who are nearly twice along in their journey as I and who are still taking it in stride...and who are still occasionally throwing up the middle finger when appropriate. Imagine being told you aged at least 30 years in one year. I’m both younger than Epstein and older.
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Post by dmo on Mar 14, 2021 22:33:20 GMT -6
I have the privilege to care for all ages in the ER, and while age catches up to all of us, some certainly age better than others. Genetics, lifestyle choices, mental attitude all seem to have some input on how we deal with the aging process. I've seen people younger than me who look older (sometimes much older) and seen older folks who don't look older than myself. I'm a pretty firm believer that you're only as old as you think/feel (with some limitations).
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Post by Jason on Mar 14, 2021 22:58:55 GMT -6
I have the privilege to care for all ages in the ER, and while age catches up to all of us, some certainly age better than others. Genetics, lifestyle choices, mental attitude all seem to have some input on how we deal with the aging process. I've seen people younger than me who look older (sometimes much older) and seen older folks who don't look older than myself. I'm a pretty firm believer that you're only as old as you think/feel (with some limitations). For background, I don’t dispute that and wholeheartedly agree. I am also a first responder, which is what screws with me these days.
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Post by Johnkenn on Mar 14, 2021 23:07:13 GMT -6
Jeez Tim, I was drafted in 69! Did get to see Jimi at Newport 69 before boot camp. I bought 3 capsules from you a couple of months ago and am more than halfway through building a dozen Tube mics. My wife doesn’t understand why I’m doing it at my age. I just like building stuff, been doing it since I was a kid. I’ll be 71 in a month. Post more
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Post by Johnkenn on Mar 14, 2021 23:09:12 GMT -6
I’m 47…
My father was 52 when I was born…he would be 100 right now. Lol.
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Post by dmo on Mar 15, 2021 1:02:45 GMT -6
For background, I don’t dispute that and wholeheartedly agree. I am also a first responder, which is what screws with me these days. Jason - I get where you're coming from. We see a lot of badness involving folks our own age or younger and it definitely makes you ponder your own mortality. There's been a lot of talk since the pandemic started about "moral injury" from the psychological stress of being in front line healthcare during Covid, and in general I agree but also think this has always been true to an extent in our first responder community. We all have stories we only share with a select few. Would love to chat offline sometime - let me know.
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Post by jcoutu1 on Mar 15, 2021 8:04:01 GMT -6
For background, I don’t dispute that and wholeheartedly agree. I am also a first responder, which is what screws with me these days. I'm glad you're out there covering our backs brother. Stay safe.
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Post by jerrypbury on Mar 15, 2021 8:20:56 GMT -6
Jeez Tim, I was drafted in 69! Did get to see Jimi at Newport 69 before boot camp. I bought 3 capsules from you a couple of months ago and am more than halfway through building a dozen Tube mics. My wife doesn’t understand why I’m doing it at my age. I just like building stuff, been doing it since I was a kid. I’ll be 71 in a month. Post more Haha! Where do I start? This stupid pandemic has allowed me to finish up a LOT of projects, some dating back to the late 90’s early 2000’s. I have built, repaired, modified over 20 tube amplifiers, patched a few guitars together, built numerous mic pre’s and compressors, repaired and modified/updated mixers and the afore mentioned mic building.😁 I also build my own motorcycles and an occasional rifle or 2.
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Post by teejay on Mar 15, 2021 8:24:38 GMT -6
...I also build my own motorcycles and an occasional rifle or 2. I think you may have just created two new discussion threads on this forum.
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Post by Ward on Mar 15, 2021 10:08:25 GMT -6
...I also build my own motorcycles and an occasional rifle or 2. I think you may have just created two new discussion threads on this forum. I was thinking the same thing . . . Must be an age thing. Post more, jerrypbury!
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Post by theshea on Mar 15, 2021 10:58:03 GMT -6
i‘m still waiting to see my name on a breakthrough artist list ... hope is last to die. and i googled it: there‘s no age limit for it!
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Post by Jason on Mar 15, 2021 14:57:50 GMT -6
For background, I don’t dispute that and wholeheartedly agree. I am also a first responder, which is what screws with me these days. Jason - I get where you're coming from. We see a lot of badness involving folks our own age or younger and it definitely makes you ponder your own mortality. There's been a lot of talk since the pandemic started about "moral injury" from the psychological stress of being in front line healthcare during Covid, and in general I agree but also think this has always been true to an extent in our first responder community. We all have stories we only share with a select few. Would love to chat offline sometime - let me know. You know, I never really thought about any of this until I started (mostly) riding a desk a few years ago. I spent the first eight or nine years of my career chasing the adrenaline rush of kicking ass and taking names, high-speed-low-drag style. I was ten feet tall and bullet proof. I pissed excellence and shit platinum. I thrived on the chaos of it all. If there was something crazy happening, nine times out of ten, I was right there smack in the middle of it. I wore my shit-magnet status like a badge of honor. I ate, slept, breathed and shit what I was doing for a living. It defined who I was as a person. With a couple exceptions, until about five or so years in, I didn't actually feel as though I had "worked" a day in my career. It was fun. I enjoyed it. The thrill of what might happen next allured and motivated me every day. I was the first one there and the last to leave. Slowly, some of the f'ed up things that I've seen and done over the years started to catch up with me. It started to change me. I started taking bad days at work home with me. It started to affect how I treated the people I love and how I look at the world. Not all bad, but mostly bad. All of it was subtle at first. It was easy to ignore because I still loved the chase and the rush of it all. I still defined myself by what I was doing for a living. But, for the first time, I also started realizing that the gig was not always fun and games, that the people and consequences were real, and that the job definitely doesn't love you back. Death was real, often random, usually ruthless and always indiscriminate. Death flatters no one. Still, that happened to them, to other people, not me. While I recognize it's a common coping mechanism, I'm no less embarrassed to admit today that, back then, I at times even joked and openly made fun of some of death's victims and the way she took them. Fast forward. Basically, I've had a few years now to come-down from a nearly decade-long adrenaline high. The come-down is real. It has been a process - mentally, physically and spiritually. Psychological stress and trauma injuries are real, they're cumulative, and they're different for everybody. Part of my journey has included coming to grips with my own mortality while fighting a newfound irrational fear of death. Yep, I went from laughing and joking about how I literally almost just died at work to refusing to do something relatively harmless that I enjoy in my spare time because I might die in a freak, one-in-a-million encounter or accident. I went from thinking stuff like panic attacks were imagined and only happened to weak-minded people to actually experiencing them firsthand, literally thinking and feeling as though I suddenly couldn't breathe and I was about to die. I went from making fun of how somebody died, aloud and in the presence of their body, to respectfully introducing myself to them and reverently explaining why I'm there and what I'm doing. I'll leave it at that, but it's a long list for me on how the job and all that comes with it has fundamentally changed me as a person. Thankfully, I've found a middle ground (I guess some people call it sanity?), and I've put in a lot of work to get back to a mostly healthy place and still be able to do the job. Part of that process has been learning who I actually am now that I've been through all of it and getting comfortable in my new skin. Today, what I do for a living is toward the bottom of the list of stuff I would tell you if you asked me to tell you a little bit about myself. I do the job for very different reasons than when I started. I don't regret my decision, but I honestly don't know that I would do it over again, and I would still walk away in a heartbeat if the right opportunity came along. That said, I've had the pleasure of working alongside public health and local government during our community's emergency response to the pandemic. I've had a front row seat, so to say. What I find most unique about this situation is that our nurses are not used to being used or targeted for political purposes. They vaccinate babies and take care of the elderly. I'm oversimplifying, but my point is that generally there's not much in their day-to-day that has much to do with politics. While folks like me are used to people hating and targeting us, our nurses most certainly aren't used to that, and I've seen some of them really struggle not just with pandemic fatigue but also with being on the receiving end of much of the hate and discontent generated over the evolving politics surrounding Covid and health orders during the last year or so. Resilience is the ability to adapt and overcome, but the reality is that even the most resilient people can only be beaten down so many times over and over again before adapting and overcoming to avoid breaking starts to include some pretty ugly shit for some of us in the grand scheme of things. Careful, friends, my $0.02 won't even buy you a cup of coffee these days. Also, hope I haven't derailed the thread because I was enjoying the humorous direction it was heading...I don't want to the reason why we can't have nice things around here. ;-) P.S. I still enjoy kicking ass from time to time.
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Post by dmo on Mar 15, 2021 15:32:59 GMT -6
Jason - I totally get it. First - thanks for all you have done/do and the impact you've made with those you've touched. Sounds like you've found balance for yourself - and I appreciate how hard that can be because I'm still struggling to get there myself. I'm hoping getting back to music will help me allow myself to express feelings and break down some of the emotional barriers that have become "normalized" after 30+ years of locking too much internally in able to finish the shift and continue doing the job. Appreciate the honesty with which you shared - can relate to so much you described.
When Covid lockdown ends and travel is safe - would enjoy the opportunity to meet and sit down for dinner sometime.
Bill
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Post by matt on Mar 15, 2021 17:48:59 GMT -6
60 and doing OK in most ways. But, except for one aunt, my brother and I are the oldest in my family. It's weird. And several of my close life-long friends are dead. All the aphorisms that warn about growing old are true. As the song goes- Ain't it funny, how time slips away.
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Post by Guitar on Mar 16, 2021 4:35:04 GMT -6
I'm up at 4:45 AM for my birthday. Gotta get prepped and ready for that chocolate cake, haha!
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Post by mcirish on Mar 16, 2021 5:44:21 GMT -6
I'm up at 4:45 AM for my birthday. Gotta get prepped and ready for that chocolate cake, haha! Happy Birthday!
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ericn
Temp
Balance Engineer
Posts: 14,928
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Post by ericn on Mar 16, 2021 5:54:12 GMT -6
I'm up at 4:45 AM for my birthday. Gotta get prepped and ready for that chocolate cake, haha! Happy Birthday as cues up Crowded House’s Chocolate Cake.
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Post by teejay on Mar 16, 2021 7:27:04 GMT -6
I'm up at 4:45 AM for my birthday. Gotta get prepped and ready for that chocolate cake, haha! Happy Birthday, Dan!
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Post by chessparov on Mar 16, 2021 7:57:37 GMT -6
Wishing you many more too! Chris
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Post by the other mark williams on Mar 16, 2021 11:14:36 GMT -6
I'm up at 4:45 AM for my birthday. Gotta get prepped and ready for that chocolate cake, haha! Happy Birthday!!
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Post by ragan on Mar 16, 2021 12:31:12 GMT -6
I'm up at 4:45 AM for my birthday. Gotta get prepped and ready for that chocolate cake, haha! Happy birthday, Dan! You have the same birthday as my wife.
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Post by mike on Mar 16, 2021 12:59:15 GMT -6
I'm up at 4:45 AM for my birthday. Gotta get prepped and ready for that chocolate cake, haha!
Happy Birthday!
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Post by srb on Mar 16, 2021 13:24:25 GMT -6
Happy Born Day!
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